These poems are published as part of the Amplifying Disabled Voices special section, selected by editors Christopher Heuer, Marlena Chertock, and Gregory Luce.
32
32 Units left
Never out of my mind
Humalog* but not humorous
Always on my mind
The tubing snaking up my back
A constant reminder, a slither
A whisper
Did you bolus?
Did you actually count?
Did you do it right?
You’re falling
Falling
Falling
Oh no, you’re shaking
Oops, you over did it!
What a shame,
Now you’re rising
Rising
Rising
and yet
still Failing.
Failing
Failing
Failing
Failing
Fail
* An artificial type of insulin used to treat type 1 diabetes. 32 references the remaining units in
an insulin pump.
Dis*a *bled
dis*a *bled \ adj. 1. A “differently abled” person/A label created by “able” bodied people, / So as not to distinguish the disabled/ No dishonor/ Yet they disengage the community/ One word doesn’t provide justice. /It doesn’t even begin to describe the experience/ The, “my grandma has that”/ The, “I know everything about you”/ A label not of their own but of someone else’s ideals./Distinguished/Dishonored/Disengaged. 2. Some pain visible, others just plague the mind. / Silent suffering no one knows about/ The thoughts it takes to get out of bed/ Never enough. / The cycle of shame never ends/ The, “I have that”/ The, “I understand” / Reds, purples, yellows, and blues collide/Flesh barely staying alive/Fighting a body that tries to kill. / Always on that daily grind, / Constantly sleep deprived, /To survive. /Bled/Blood/Blame.
Kathryn Schug is an aspiring writer and book arts artist. In 2023, her poem, “Voices of All” won the Dexter R. Stanton MLK Art & Essay Contest College Award. Also in 2023, she won the Undergraduate Prize in German Studies in English from The Ohio State University, the first student from the College of Saint Benedict and Saint John’s University (CSB+SJU) to win. Her altered book, My Book House: Unlocking Personal Lives, was featured and given an honorable mention in the 2023 All Student Juried Exhibit. In 2024, Schug was the curator of the exhibit, Duality: Artists’ Books Exploring Multiple Sides. Recently, Schug co-authored a peer-reviewed article with Dr. Ted Gordon, “Rights of Nature: The Indigenous-Led Movement for Sovereignty and a Sustainable Future” published in The Journal of Social Encounters. Schug has lived with Type 1 Diabetes since 2009, a condition that has impacted every aspect of her life.
Featured image in this post is, “I hooked up my new insulin pump. Not quite bionic, but it augments my body” By cogdogblog, licensed creative commons via Wikimedia Commons.
