The poems in this post are part of a special section, curated by Ori Z Soltes and Robert Bettmann, The Jewish Experience.
Amazon is sold out of sackcloth
By Jen Gubitz
I’m sitting on Noah’s ark.
He let me board early.
After the animals come on safely,
I bring my loved ones, too,
into the rooms of my heart
as the sky pours out her tears.
Evan is sitting shiva.
Rachael tells me her body is in Kishinev.
Daniel is feeling alone in this storm.
Jodie is searching for words, she finds songs to briefly calm her soul.
Abbey’s great aunt, her cousins are held hostage.
We ordered our sackcloth on Amazon,
But they’ve run out.
From the River to the Sea, a cousin posts on Instagram.
A middle school friend
who once brought me to Easter services
with liturgy blaming Jews for Jesus’ death
Facebook messages me about collective punishment.
Neil from high school emails me after 20 years to tell me he is thinking of me.
Joe from our childhood West Sherwood Terrace texts me about his grief.
My beloved, born of the land,
first needs quiet, to process, to worry.
His cousins are called up.
They are my cousins, too, now.
We love you, I message them repeatedly,
as we cancel our El Al flights for November.
What about the kids in war, my nieces ask?
They hide, the eldest says.
They hide behind their mommies, the youngest agrees.
I call my dad crying.
I cry dancing the horah at Sasha’s wedding.
I cry for Abbey’s Carmela and Noya.
I cry because I do not understand war
and I do not understand hurting children.
I cannot sleep on this ark.
I should not sleep on this ark.
As if the last night of summer camp,
I am sitting shmira.
The WiFi is too strong and I am up late each night.
Refresh, refresh, refresh.
I am keeping watch to make sure everyone is safe.
I am sitting shmira –
Guarding the memories of the dead
until they are returned
to their families embrace.
You can’t sit shmira for all of them alone,
my sister tells me.
You have to share the burden.
So, please come on board this ark with me,
There is only one skylight
And it feels so dark.
What if Shammai was right?
By Jen Gubitz
What if
Each night
We go to light
And there is more darkness in our hearts
Than the night before?
What if we are not like Hillel
cannot see the light increase
Cannot strike the match
Or have run out of wax and wick?
What if the wickedness
Of the world
Or the pain in our soul
Casts dark shadows
On the glimmering lights?
What if the miracle
Is the single flickering flame
On the last night
While the world
Tries to snuff you out?
Rabbi Jen Gubitz is the founder of Modern JewISH Couples which supports couples on the pathway to marriage and beyond, and runs the BMitzvah Program at Temple Shalom of Newton. Her welcoming vibe weaves learning, ritual and lifecycle experiences full of music, poetry, honesty and
Humor.
Gubitz is a graduate of the Borns Jewish Studies Program at Indiana University and Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (NY ‘12) where she was a Tisch Fellow and wrote her thesis on Jewish death education for children. She completed an MBA-level entrepreneurship program through Columbia Business School and Glean Network and an intensive certificate in Family Therapy with Therapy Training Boston. She directed the Riverway Project in Boston from 2016-2021.
She is the co-host of the OMfG Podcast: Jewish Wisdom for Unprecedented Times and her writing appears in the LA Times, Boston Globe, Romper, Lilith Magazine, OnBeing, and the Jewish Daily Forward. Learn more here: www.jengubitz.com
Image: Moshe Ganbash – Shiviti – Google Art Project, Moshe Ganbash, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
