This poem is published as part of the Amplifying Disabled Voices special section, selected by editors Christopher Heuer, Marlena Chertock, and Gregory Luce.
Always There
Been so long it is hard to remember
surely it couldn’t have been that bad
A single twinge reminds me, it’s always there, lurking,
scaring me,
Is it happening again…
Don’t touch me, it hurts.
Why does it hurt with just the slightest breeze?
Why do the doctors not believe me
Fire shooting straight down my arm,
Color changes, always cold, NO…
No, not this time
breathe deep, it’s fine for now
Every time it’s the same
the fear is always there.
Remission never feels like forever
hopefully it will be long enough.
Jennifer Daschel was diagnosed with CRPS, RSD as a teenager – currently in remission. In addition, she has lupus and gastroparesis. Her daughter, now 17, became disabled at 14 from a progressive neuromuscular disorder and a brain injury. As her full-time caregiver, she continues to learn about ableism and inclusion. She and her daughter continue to advocate for disability access.
Featured image in this post is, “Life is a fractal explosion” By Joselodos – licensed creative commons via Wikimedia Commons.
