new chairs
i didn’t expect white
but i knew black was out
maybe natural wood
anything to replace
the worn out and breaking
cane-bottomed kitchen chairs
chairs that had lasted
far beyond expectation
holding on, like me. holding on
when she found new chairs
online, of course, she said
these are the ones, but
you will have to assemble them
and i thought to myself
i’ve put so many things together
what’s four more chairs
prefab and requiring only a
screwdriver and included wrench
done in no time, and the old chairs,
faithful to the end, were cut apart
to fit the garbage can
no funeral, no eulogy, and almost
no regret, except for a twinge
as i sawed through the last leg
wondering what might become of me
when i am old past usefulness
but not ready to give in
check up
i tell him i had covid almost a year ago
he nods and says yes, it’s in my record
he asks what my concerns are, though that
is in the secure message i sent him days ago
we talk. or at least, i complain, he listens
easy fatigue, no stamina, vertigo, lack of focus
i thought he was listening, but he asks instead
about my depression and if the medication helps
yes, yes, i tell him, it works, but these symptoms
started long before the blues, so no. not that.
and then it starts. ekg, treadmill stress test
pulmonary function test, vials and vials of blood
every test, every sample, every result comes back
i’m in good shape for an old coot, and yet
the symptoms are still there. walk a block
in a mask and stop to huff, puff, and rest
climb one flight of stairs, pant for breath
nothing gets better, nothing gets easier
so what’s an old geezer to do when the check up says
i’m fine, but my body disagrees. what’s next?
what is coming next?
j.lewis is an internationally published poet, musician, nurse practitioner, and Editor of Verse-Virtual, an online poetry journal and community. When he is not otherwise occupied, he is often on a kayak, exploring and photographing the waterways near his home in California. He is the author of four full length collections and several chapbooks. https://www.jlewisweb.com/books.asp
Image: Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
